Real Burger Protein Orientated Takeaway/Restaurant
Real Burger closed in this location in summer 2018, to make way for a new venture from the people who brought you Holee Cow.
Holee Clucker will be all about chicken and waffles. Update: in the churn and grind that is the Cheltenham restaurant scene, it turned out that Holee Cow ended up moving to this location. So, you can still get your burger fix here, only it’s Holee Cow not Real Burger. Which is a good thing.
Real Burger in One Paragraph:
Burger restaurant. Used to be great. We reckon overtaken by other Cheltenham burger venues.
The Longer Read:
Real Burger just scrapes in under the ‘Cheltenham restaurant’ bar thanks to a recent move to Winchcombe Street. The move took things up a notch in terms of being a restaurant – and there’s much more seating. Real Burger is at heart a takeaway but, a bit like Simpsons Fish and Chips, you can take away or take a seat. There’s a studenty atmos and some good tunes.
Did the quality survive the move from the old, more central location? Unfortunately, we think not particularly well. It also got a poor hygiene rating in the last round – 1/5. Real Burger has some real competition these days, now that Five Guys and Holee Cow are in town. Competition that it never had before. After a couple of visits recently we’ve marked the food score down further.
Burgers are the focus here, which is just as well given the name of the business. If it’s your first time, you’re going to need to stay focused because there are multiple burger-related options. Your first question – decide on beef, lamb, chicken or veggie. Question two – assuming you’re after a beef burger – is ‘classic’ or ‘luxury steak burger’. Next question? 4, 6 or 8 ounces? Stand by for a bit of a wait, since everything is cooked to order, thank fuck.
The reputation of Real Burger has been built on the promise of 100% grass-fed, Gloucestershire beef, hand-made burgers.
Real Burger presents a difficulty for us as reviewers, in that the basic quality used to be so good here that it’s hard to score down – but we’re left thinking that things have changed and not for the better. We hope that things pick up and we’ll keep tabs on it. Prices range between £4.10 and £7.50 (when we visited).
Burgers. Real Burgers.
Classic burgers can be ordered with Stilton cheese & caramelised red onions; Emmenthal Swiss cheese and mushrooms; Cheddar cheese & Gloucester Old Spot bacon; Mozzarella cheese & homemade basil pesto; BBQ; Monterey Jack cheese, pickles & deli mayo; Chilli Cheddar cheese, jalapenos, salsa & hot sauce or chorizo, smoked Cheddar & hot sauce.
Luxury Steakburger options include Old School (Burger sauce, burger relish, griddled onions & cheese slices); peanut butter, raspberry jam, bacon & hot sauce; chipotle chilli mayo, shoestring onions, coleslaw & chilli Cheddar; teriyaki sauce, crispy onions, spring onions & wasabi mayo and finally a ghost chilli burger, for the lads like.
Sides are so-so, the chips are a good effort, but seem to have declined in quality recently too.
Drinks and Service
They’ve made an effort with drinks (Severn cider etc) but the choice is necessarily limited and the Peroni seems a pity.
They’ll deliver, although (and here’s a tip for life) we’ve always felt that if you’re going to eat a burger, the least you can do is get off the sofa and walk around a bit. Service is cheerful enough, not surprising considering the improvement to working conditions brought about by the move to the new address. No longer do you have to make your order through a cloud of steam. Plus the staff are famously, er, relaxed.